Recently I was described as "the woman who doesn't stop smiling, whether it rains or snows" It's not the first time I've been told that, in fact, I hear it nearly every day. But I have to say I have never really let that sink in. I simply was "the woman who doesn't stop smiling" I accepted it and I lived by it, because truth is, that's who I am.
This led me to think 2 different things:
- I have been very lucky to have been described as that, but, how many of you have been described as the opposite and how has that affected you?
- Are we who others say we are or we are who we are and the ones around us are just perceptive?
See, I have accepted the above and lived by it, because I truly am a woman who doesn't stop smiling. Don't get me wrong, I cry, I get annoyed, frustrated, angry.... I suffer and I have pain, like everybody else. I guess I just choose to see the positive side, because there always is one, because no matter what happens to you, you ALWAYS, always, have the choice. You can choose for other things to affect you, you can choose to let what others think or say about you affect you, you can choose how you react to whatever is happening to you....
Now, how did I get here? How did I get to be that smiley, positive person?
- First, my upbringing, I had a mother who loved me very very much (twist plot: my father died when I was 3 months old.... ) so she was a mother and a father, strong and positive. She loved me more than she could and she always, always told me there was nothing I couldn't do.
And this helped me believe I really could.
- Second, death and sickness have surrounded my family for as long as I can remember, now, whilst this was and is very sad, it taught me from a very young age that nothing is forever, that those who we love are with us for a limited time and we NEED to make the most of them, because one day they won't be here and then we will regret everything we didn't do or say.
I now appreciate those around me for who they are, I love them and I make sure I say it frequently or prove if frequently enough so I don't have to regret I didn't when they're gone.
- Third, this sense of limited time and space also taught me to be grateful for what I have; seeing my mum working her back off and doing as much as she could in and out of the house also taught me you've got to work for the things you want in life. So, I've worked, been thankful and appreciative of everything that I have achieved or been given to me, every single day. And I can't tell you how good that feels! The positive impact it has on me but on those around me too, because they feel at ease, they feel appreciated and loved.
The more you give the more you get, and it's not a case of being greedy, it's a case of Universal Energy and Force.
Now, this leaves us to the question of whether we are who we are or who others say we are… and it's very simple: our values, which make us who we are, are not our DNA, they are our believes, what we are ruled by, they are something rooted in us and whatever we do, whomever we are with, they show. And that can't change and won't change, no matter what we do. What can sometimes change is the way we behave - for example, we have different behaviours at work, with friends, with our family, with our partner.... - we fulfil different roles and we act accordingly. There's nothing wrong with this, but I encourage you to think of those different profiles and what in each of them is a 100% you and what is a learnt behaviour.
Are you acting differently because you simply are exposing a different side of your personality or because you're trying to be accepted? If the latter, what is your ultimate goal here and how will this pretending be affecting you in the future?
It's important to discover who you are, what makes you YOU, what you long for, live for. Let the world show you things, different ways of living, be inspired and affected, but above it all, BE YOU. Unashamedly. We all know, deep down, who we are; sometimes, it only takes a bit of time (and help) to get there.
Love, and keep dreaming